Satirical website The Oracle Speaks has been celebrating successfully making it through its first year of existence without getting sued, it has been announced.
The site, which was launched a year ago today (roughly…we can’t be arsed to check) to a landslide of critical apathy, has spent the last 12 months making the sort of libellous remarks and character assassinations that would ordinarily be a litigator’s wildest dream.
Aug 31 2010 | Posted in
News |
Read More »
England’s 2018 World Cup bid team has demanded to know what is wrong with the many delightful bed & breakfasts situated across the length and breadth of the country, after an inspection visit highlighted accommodation as an area of concern.
Fifa’s six-man inspection team yesterday issued a glowing closing statement at the conclusion of their four-day visit, but did insist that they would require “a very high number of quality hotel rooms” if the tournament was to be awarded to England.
Aug 27 2010 | Posted in
News,
Sport |
Read More »
The British Isles looks set to be governed by a new breed of super-intelligent teenagers, it has been announced, after GCSE results soared for the 23rd year in succession. Nearly seven in 10 pupils who took their exams this summer achieved at least a C grade, with one in five achieving an A or A*.
“I think these results tell us all we need to know,” announced Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. “For years governments have been trying to find an answer to fixing the broken economy and ensuring a happy, healthy and civilised nation.
Aug 25 2010 | Posted in
Education,
News |
Read More »
World number one golfer Tiger Woods has followed his divorce with wife Elin Nordegren by announcing to all the women in the world that he is free, single and ready for action, according to reports.
After a Florida court had dissolved the marriage in a judgement last night, Woods took the unusual step of reading from a prepared statement while wearing nothing but a leopard skin posing pouch.
Aug 24 2010 | Posted in
News,
Sport |
Read More »
Men everywhere have finally admitted that they secretly like to stare at women’s breasts when they think nobody is watching, it has been announced.
In a joint statement, men all over the world accepted that they had not been admiring the dresses of ample chested ladies in public places, as they had previously claimed, and admitted instead that they had been trying to catch a glimpse of their norks.
Aug 23 2010 | Posted in
News |
Read More »
Social networking giant Facebook has unveiled a new location-based service as part of its ongoing plan to allow your friends to continually update you about all of the bland minutiae in their boring, tedious everyday lives.
Places, as the new service is known, is Facebook’s first foray into the location-based services space, and the fourteenth or fifteenth hundred way they have enabled your friends to bore the living sh*t out of you via the popular social medium.
Aug 20 2010 | Posted in
Technology |
Read More »
Dangerous drivers the length and breadth of the country have announced that they are all moving to Oxfordshire, after it was announced that every single speed camera in the county is to be switched off.
The move, announced by Oxfordshire County Council, follows central government funding cuts to the Thames Valley Safer Roads Partnership, and looks set to encourage a new wave of terror on the roads.
Aug 19 2010 | Posted in
News |
Read More »
Swiss side Young Boys last night played up to their name in their Champions League qualifier by shooting their bolt far too early and failing, embarrassingly, to keep a clean sheet against Premier League side Spurs.
Tottenham survived a humiliating first half-hour of Champions League football as the Young Boys turned on the style to s go 3-0 up after just 29 minutes.
Aug 18 2010 | Posted in
Sport |
Read More »
