James Corden has revealed that he is expecting his first child after what many are calling the world’s longest pregnancy, it has been announced. The Gavin & Stacey star is also set to become the first serially irritating, self-publicising, unfunny simpleton to give birth without the aid of a partner.
“Like everyone else, I thought that my bump was just an indication that I had been overdoing it on the cheeseburgers, and was morbidly obese,” Corden said last night, whilst gurning excruciatingly into a camera.
Sep 30 2010 | Posted in
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All men secretly think that they are exactly like James Bond, according to new research, announced yesterday.
The study, which surveyed a representative sample of British males across the country, from a range of backgrounds and occupations, found that as many as 99.9% of all men privately think that they are as good as, if not better than the fictional super-spy.
Sep 29 2010 | Posted in
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The chairman of non-league club Garforth Town has defended his decision to appoint former England international Paul Gascoigne as his new manager, and has insisted that it is definitely, absolutely, 100% not a publicity stunt. At all.
Despite Gascoigne’s appalling track record of managing his own life, Gasforth chairman Simon Clifford was adamant that he had found ‘the best man for the job’.
Sep 28 2010 | Posted in
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Defeated Labour leadership candidate David Miliband is today set to give a speech to the Labour Party conference, in which he is rumoured to refer to his victorious brother Ed as an ‘ungrateful little sh*t,’ according to sources.
Ed Miliband was announced as the successor to Gordon Brown on Saturday after a closely fought leadership contest involving the Miliband brothers.
Sep 27 2010 | Posted in
Politics |
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Millions of Twitter users have e-mailed the social networking site to voice their approval at the new porn links service that has been rolled out as part of the latest update to the website, it has been reported.
Although Twitter had initally patched what it called ‘a flaw’ in its website which was being exploited by so-called ‘computer hackers’ to pump out pop-up messages and links to porn sites, it is now understood that they are thinking of re-introducing the feature due to overwhelming public demand.
Sep 22 2010 | Posted in
Technology |
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Pakistan have levelled the NatWest Series of one-day internationals at 2-2 with a 38-run victory over England at Lord’s, which definitely didn’t involve any cheating at all.
The match was won after Shoib Akhtar and Umar Gul’s skill and determination with the ball, not to mention their decision not to take any money to throw the match, proved too much for England.
Sep 21 2010 | Posted in
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Britain’s historic papal visit has come to an end after Benedict XVI broke down in tears, hugged the ground staff at the airport and promised he would ‘write every day’.
The Pontiff boarded his specially-prepared aircraft at Birmingham Airport, dressed in a Union Jack jester’s hat and an ‘I Love London’ t-shirt, and thanked the nation for its hospitality.
Sep 20 2010 | Posted in
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A Cardinal due to travel to the UK with the Pope has poked fun at Britons for living in a “third world country”, because they don’t believe in an omnipotent, all-powerful man in the sky who controls everything.
Although German-born Cardinal Walter Kasper, 77, was scheduled to make the trip as part of the Pope’s entourage, Vatican officials advised that he would not be travelling, owing to an ‘illness’.
Sep 16 2010 | Posted in
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