Opinion from The Oracle Speaks By James Thorpe We’ve all been there, haven’t we? You struggle bravely through the working week until finally, eventually, you somehow manage to drag yourself onto the shore of the weekend for two glorious days when you can do whatever you like. Weekends should be a glorious excuse for you [...]
World football’s governing body, Fifa, has been left reeling after one of its members was last night accused of not being corrupt. The member, who has yet to be identified, is suspected of refusing several bribes and favours after an anonymous tip-off to the Daily Mail revealed the true extent of his incorruptibility. The [...]
Each week, The Oracle Speaks receives thousands of e-mails from readers looking for an answer to their deepest, darkest, stomach-wrenching problems. Rather than go to the expense and effort of hiring a real-life agony aunt, who actually knows what she’s talking about, we’ve decided to throw these problems open to everyday members of the public [...]
Prime Minister David Cameron has been forced to abandon plans for a nationwide stand-up tour after a joke he made in a speech fell embarrassingly flat. The joke came at a barbecue in the grounds on no. 10 with US President Barack Obama, after which the PM claimed that it was “probably the first time [...]
The Oracle Speaks Presents HOW TO DO EVERYTHING 24. How to deal with volcanic ash Start a massive bonfire in your garden, and waft the resulting ash gently towards Iceland. See how they like it. Frustrated by your flight’s cancellation as a result of the volcanic ash? Take matters into your own hands by turning [...]
Confusion and uncertainty last night filled the nation’s journalists as none of them seemed to have any idea whether or not they could actually talk about Ryan Giggs and his superinjunction. Giggs was named yesterday by Birmingham MP John Hemming, who used Parliamentary privilege (protection) in the House of Commons to reveal him as the person identified [...]
Alex McLeish, manager of newly-relegated Birmingham City, has confirmed that the club has initiated legal proceedings against Californian christian-radio broadcaster Harold Camping after the rapture he predicted failed to materialise on Saturday night. McLeish, whose side were relegated from the Premier League after a 2-1 defeat at Tottenham yesterday, was quick to blame the non-appearance [...]
By Padraig Stapleton Dear loyal subjects, Last week one came to the end of one’s enjoyable trip to the Emerald Isle in association with the Irish Tourist Board. We spent our final day at the National Stud inspecting the stallions. (steady now). Philip named one of the foals Camilla, the look on her face [...]