The organisers of the Brits have apologised after fat, whiny singer Adele had her acceptance speech interrupted by fat, nauseating idiot James Corden at the O2 Arena last night. Adele, who managed to land two trophies at the glitzy event despite a) being fat and whiny and b) everybody getting absolutely sick to death of [...]
Squeaky-voiced teenage pop sensation Justin Bieber has been urged by grown-ups everywhere to follow the example set by the likes of Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston by suffering a cruel, terrible death in order to boost record sales. Many of Jackson’s best known releases re-entered the charts following the singer’s death in 2009, while Houston’s [...]
Prime Minister David Cameron has said that the British film industry should be offering ‘more commercial support’ support to films with car chases and aliens in them. His controversial comments came just days before the publication of Lord Smith’s review into the government’s film policy on Monday, and are thought to directly reflect the Prime [...]
This year’s Christmas Number One is on with bookmakers to be crass, annoying and completely and utterly unbearable, it has been revealed. With X Factor winners Little Mix set to lead the race alongside a group of soldiers’ wives known as the Military Wives Choir, bookmaker William Hill has offered odds of 1/50 that the [...]
TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson has apologised for making The One Show, the BBC’s tea-time barometer of mediocrity and non-incident, momentarily interesting to viewers. The BBC received more than 5,000 complaints from viewers who had tuned in on Wednesday evening, expecting to be served up the usual dross involving middle-of-the-road, Z-list celebrity plugging their latest book [...]
Chancellor George Osborne has warned that Britain’s economic woes look set to drag on longer than an extended episode of Strictly Come Dancing. In his autumnal budget statement, Mr Osborne admitted that official growth forecasts for the economy had been slashed, and used the Saturday night prime time dancing show as a prime example of [...]
by Padraig Stapleton Thousands have been left annoyed after finding themselves trapped in an avalanche of puns following the decision by Frankie Cocozza to quit ailing weekend TV pantomime the X Factor yesterday. Social networks went into meltdown over the weekend when Cocozza was given a stay of execution by the public, prompting a terrifying [...]
Prime Minister David Cameron has told pop dictator Simon Cowell that he is next on the hit list after Colonel Muammar Gaddafi was captured and killed yesterday. Speaking outside Downing Street shortly after the death was confirmed, David Cameron said he was ‘proud’ of the role Britain played in helping to liberate the country, but [...]