PM demands more films with car chases and aliens

Prime Minister David Cameron has said that the British film industry should be offering ‘more commercial support’ support to films with car chases and aliens in them.

His controversial comments came just days before the publication of Lord Smith’s review into the government’s film policy on Monday, and are thought to directly reflect the Prime Minister’s own personal taste in films.

Although Mr Cameron initially praised the UK film industry in his remarks, he also added that: “we should be making more films with car chases and aliens in them. Everyone knows that they are the best kind of films, and I think that I echo the thoughts of the nation when I say that.

“I’ve lost track of the number of films I’ve seen about ‘relationships’, or ‘the plight of others’,” said Mr Cameron, holding his arms up above his head and using his figures to denote inverted commas for emphasis.

“Yawn! Who wants to watch that? Am I right? For example, just the other day my wife forced me to go and see some film about a funny looking woman with strange hair. What was that about?” asked the PM, before one of his aides pointed out that The Iron Lady was about one of his most famous predecessors.

“That may be so,” Mr Cameron continued, unabashed, “but where were the explosions? Where was the gunfire? Most importantly, where were the car chases and the aliens? This was supposed to be a film about a woman made out of iron, yet I sat through the entire thing without seeing this supposed ‘iron lady’ once.”

Speaking to the BBC, director Ken Loach offered a succinct appraisal of the Prime Minister’s comments.

“He’s a bit of a cretin, isn’t he?”, as people up and down the country nodded their heads in agreement.