‘Getting your tits out and looking vacant is proud British tradition,’ insists Sun editor

The Sun‘s editor Dominic Mohan has defended his paper’s use of ‘page three’ girls and insisted that getting your tits out and having a vacant, distant expression is part of a proud British tradition.

Mohan, who made the remarks after being recalled to the Leveson Inquiry yesterday, described the practice of looking vacant while exposing your chest as one which was ‘very healthy’ and insisted that the girls were ‘good role models’.

“It’s no coincidence that on a typical Saturday night out in any British high street, you’ll see hoards of massively underdressed, vacant-looking young girls,” Mr Mohan told Lord Justice Leveson.

“Exposing your mammaries and staring listlessly into the middle distance is a proud British tradition, and one that every young girl aspires to,” Mohan continued. “Besides which, if you’ve ever read the comments from them that go in the paper alongside their pictures, you’ll know that they are some of the finest minds this country has to offer. A cursory glance will tell you that they have strong views on everything from parliamentary reform to the situation in the Middle East, and it’s time this was recognised.”

Lacey, 19, from Bedford, appeared on page three of The Sun towards the end of last year and revealed that it had been a life-affirming experience.

“Of course, the act of getting one’s breasts out and staring vacantly into a camera is one which requires an ironic, post-modern take on the world at large,” she said, as she swirled a glass of cognac and completed an advanced mathematical problem in under five seconds.

“In my view, the baring of my breasts is a statement about the fragility of the human condition, while the dead, featureless expression in my eyes is meant to convey the pointlessness and hopelessness of it all.”

“Plus, their norks look great!” cheered Mohan, punching the air, before taking his seat to answer more questions.