The Oracle Speaks
Sport Redknapp: 'darn two the bear bowns'

Hodgson in England talks after Redknapp fails FA spelling test »

West Brom’s Roy Hodgson will today begin talks to be England’s new manager after hot favourite Harry Redknapp failed an FA spelling test over the weekend. Formal talks will take…

Apr 29 2012 / 4 Comments / Read More »
Latest

England announce 23-man squad for first round Euros capitulation »

Hodgson: setting the bar low

Roy Hodgson has announced his 23-man squad for Euro 2012 ahead of England’s first round capitulation at the tournament. The…

May 16 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

New Olympic ticket sale to offer new chance to miss out on tickets »

London 2012: more tickets you won't be able to buy

People who have missed out on Olympic tickets are being given an extra opportunity to miss out on even more,…

May 15 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

How to do Everything: How to be like Joey Barton »

How-to-do-everything

The Oracle Speaks Presents HOW TO DO EVERYTHING 53. How to be like Joey Barton Embroider your company’s AGM with…

May 13 2012 / No Comment / Read More »
World News

One World Trade Centre becomes New York’s tallest terrorist target »

The new leading target for terrorists everywhere

Extreme political groups around the world have been celebrating the news that New York City has a brand new leading terrorist target after One World Trade Centre took over the mantle yesterday. The structure, which is now 1,271ft (387m) tall, now rises above the top…

May 1 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

‘Relationship with Britain still special,’ smiles Obama, knowingly »

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!"

US President Barack Obama has smiled knowingly and insisted that America’s relationship is still ‘special’ ahead of talks with Prime Minister David Cameron. The President, who looked at times as though he was trying to suppress his laughter, as though he’d just heard a very…

Mar 13 2012 / No Comment / Read More »
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The Oracle Rants TheOracleRants

The Oracle Rants: Why teachers deserve more respect

Opinion from The Oracle Speaks By James Thorpe There are two reasons I decided to become a teacher. First and foremost, I was itching for the hollow sense of achievement that comes from making a series…

Jan 9 2012 / Read More »
A Concerned Citizen A-concerned-citizen

A Concerned Citizen: Really Reality TV? Really?

By Marilyn Mead A Concerned Citizen from New York City A peculiar sub-genre of reality TV has taken over American cable stations. I’d like to call it what it is, an exploitative and profoundly stupid celebration…

Aug 8 2011 / Read More »
How to do Everything How-to-do-everything

How to do Everything: How to be like Joey Barton

The Oracle Speaks Presents HOW TO DO EVERYTHING 53. How to be like Joey Barton Embroider your company’s AGM with your own personal touch by elbowing the woman sat opposite you in the neck when you…

May 13 2012 / Read More »
Advice problem (1)

Problem Page: ‘Dear Oracle, do you know the way to San Jose?’

Each week, The Oracle Speaks receives thousands of e-mails from readers looking for an answer to their deepest, darkest, stomach-wrenching problems. Rather than go to the expense and effort of hiring a real-life agony aunt who…

Aug 4 2011 / Read More »

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