The Oracle Speaks
Sport He's definitely going to get the job now, isn't he?

‘Oh, crap, he’s going to be England manager now, isn’t he?’ says Redknapp jury »

The jury responsible for unanimously clearing Harry Redknapp of all tax evasion charges was last night coming to terms with the fact that the Tottenham boss will now almost certainly…

Feb 9 2012 / No Comment / Read More »
Latest

Fat, whiny singer interrupted by fat, nauseating idiot »

Fat and irritating

The organisers of the Brits have apologised after fat, whiny singer Adele had her acceptance speech interrupted by fat, nauseating…

Feb 22 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

News of the W…sorry…Sun on Sunday to launch next week »

Next Sunday: The News of the W...sorry...Sun on Sunday

News International’s chief executive, Tom Mockridge has revealed that after months of speculation, The News of the W…sorry…The Sun on…

Feb 20 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

How to do Everything: How to get independence for Scotland »

How-to-do-everything

The Oracle Speaks Presents HOW TO DO EVERYTHING 49. How to get independence for Scotland Make that the Scots really…

Feb 15 2012 / No Comment / Read More »
World News

Cruise ship captain also claims dog ate his homework »

Schettino: "It was like that when I found it"

The captain of the stricken cruise ship Costa Concordia has told investigators that the boat was ‘like that when I found it’ and that his homework was eaten by his dog, in the latest of a number of wild and fanciful excuses, it has been revealed.…

Jan 18 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

Large Hadron Collider scientists admit to making it up as they go along »

Us neither

Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Switzerland who are attempting to find the elusive ‘God particle’ are making it up as they go along, and have no idea how any of the equipment works, it has emerged. Two independent teams of researchers working…

Dec 13 2011 / No Comment / Read More »
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The Oracle Rants: Why teachers deserve more respect

Opinion from The Oracle Speaks By James Thorpe There are two reasons I decided to become a teacher. First and foremost, I was itching for the hollow sense of achievement that comes from making a series…

Jan 9 2012 / Read More »
A Concerned Citizen A-concerned-citizen

A Concerned Citizen: Really Reality TV? Really?

By Marilyn Mead A Concerned Citizen from New York City A peculiar sub-genre of reality TV has taken over American cable stations. I’d like to call it what it is, an exploitative and profoundly stupid celebration…

Aug 8 2011 / Read More »
How to do Everything How-to-do-everything

How to do Everything: How to get independence for Scotland

The Oracle Speaks Presents HOW TO DO EVERYTHING 49. How to get independence for Scotland Make that the Scots really stand out as an independent nation by asking them to do a bunch of peculiar things…

Feb 15 2012 / Read More »
Advice problem (1)

Problem Page: ‘Dear Oracle, do you know the way to San Jose?’

Each week, The Oracle Speaks receives thousands of e-mails from readers looking for an answer to their deepest, darkest, stomach-wrenching problems. Rather than go to the expense and effort of hiring a real-life agony aunt who…

Aug 4 2011 / Read More »

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